Category: Training

by Cis Frankel

When most couples are in love and are about to get married, the last thing they want to discuss is a pre-nup agreement. They are in the midst of feeling that rosy glow of being in love and believe their love will last forever. But according to the American Psychological Association, forty to fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. The rate is even higher among people who marry again.

I hope this statistic will encourage any couple who own a dog – married, engaged, or just dating — to consider signing an agreement that will state clearly as to who gets the dog or how the dog will be shared if the relationship ends.

I know for many happy couples, this may seem like a strange idea, but over the last few years, I have seen a number of couples go through the stress and the heartbreak as to who gets the dog or how the dog will be shared when they break up. This is often a traumatic experience. In the last couple of decades, the family dog has risen in the hierarchy of the family structure. In many families, the dog is no longer seen as merely a pet but rather as a member of the family.

There are many cases where a couple will be fighting for legal custody of the dog. Often dogs become pawns just like children during the divorce process.

A number of issues arise for a couple who are going through a divorce and own a dog. In many cases, one person in the relationship may not want to share the dog with the other once they break up because they don’t want to have to see that person again. But if shared custody of the dog is decided by the court, then the couple are forced into the uncomfortable position of still having to see each other just like a couple who have children. There is also the situation when one of the mates in the relationship becomes possessive toward the dog and doesn’t want the dog to love the other person anymore.

About eight years ago, I had an engaged couple in my class who had bought a Cocker Spaniel together. From all outward appearances they seemed like a happy couple and they showered their dog with plenty of love. But after owning the dog for two years together, the man decided to break off the engagement a month before they were to get married. When they broke up, the man decided to keep the dog for himself and wouldn’t let the ex-fiancée see the dog again. Of course this woman was devastated not only because of the breakup, but also because she wasn’t allowed to see their dog again. But unfortunately, she had little recourse because they never signed an agreement as to who would get the dog or how the dog would be shared if they were to break up. I remember how distressed this woman felt. Every night she cried as she looked over the many pictures she had taken of the dog. This dog that was once so much a part of her life was now taken from her. I think she was more distressed about not seeing her dog again than not seeing her fiancée.

On a personal level, I went through a divorce a few years ago, and like most divorces it was a very stressful time. We owned three dogs together, and during the divorce process, my ex asked for shared custody for one our dogs. I didn’t want to agree with this because I felt this was a form of manipulation on his part. There was also a part of me that most couples feel – you don’t really want to see the person again after a break up. But I knew if we had shared custody with one of our dogs, then I would have to continue to see him. After spending thousands of dollars on legal fees, we went to court and the judge decided on shared custody.

Going through a break up is not only stressful on the couple, but also on the dog.

Before a break up, a dog is used to living in one environment, but if there is shared custody, the dog will have to spend time in a new environment and learn new patterns. Maybe the dog’s schedule changes in terms of the times he is fed or walked. The dog may no longer enjoy the same amount of attention due to all the stress of a divorce, particularly if the person who fought for shared custody isn’t home enough to spend time with the dog. There is also the issue if someone starts to date someone new – this new person may not like dogs or may resent the dog because the dog acts as a reminder of the previous relationship.

These types of scenarios usually add more stress on a dog. It often changes a dog’s behavior. The dog can start acting fearful or hyperactive by barking more or pacing around the house. And stress affects a dog’s health just as stress can affect a person’s health.

Never underestimate what a dog can feel or observe. I know dog owners, who have to travel a lot for their job, will see their dog bark as soon as they pull out their suitcase – the dog knows they are leaving for a trip.

In some cases when a couple breaks up, there aren’t any issues as to who will keep the dog. In those cases, it is usually because one of them has no interest in wanting to see the dog again. But from my experience, I have found such cases to be rare.

So to avoid any arguments and legal entanglements, when you and your spouse or significant other decide to own a dog together, have a discussion about who will keep the dog or how the dog will be shared in case you ever break up. If you are both planning to buy a pure bred, then both of your names should be on the AKC registration form. I strongly suggest doing this because this will prove co-ownership.

Even though the two of you may think that your love will last forever, nevertheless, you both should both sign such an agreement. It will save a lot of grief if something goes drastically wrong in your relationship down the road.

If you have your own story to share on this matter, please email me. I’d love to hear from you!

by Cis Frankel

“Hey! Those dogs should be on a leash!”

“If you don’t put your dogs on a leash, I’m calling the police!”

“You’re breaking the law!”

Those are just some of the comments I get on daily basis when I walk my dogs without holding an attached leash. Comments filled with venom. Anger. Rage. There are the numerous tickets I have received from the police. And there were also the threats of physical violence. One person hit me with a shovel. Another man swung a baseball bat at my dog’s head but luckily missed, and when I came to her rescue, he threw me to the ground — he was 6’4” and stood over me, and threatened me when he said, “I’ll kill you bitch!” And still another person threatened to pour his alcoholic drink over my head if I didn’t leash my dogs. All of this because I was walking my street- smart, well-behaved, dogs off leash.

I’m sure some of you may be asking, “Why does she put up with kind of abuse?” Why don’t I just walk my dogs with a leash? Well, first of all, I know there is a leash law, but I prefer to walk my dogs without a leash. My dogs do identify streets and stop. This is something that I work on daily. My dogs are being well behaved. They are intelligent. In fact, they read the environment around them very well — they are more behaved on the streets than most four- or five-year-old kids. They respect the flow of traffic without a leash.

Whenever I walk my dogs off leash, they are comfortable with the buzz of activity that exists on most city streets. They have learned how to handle various distractions that can happen when walking the streets in the city – people jogging by, kids playing, owners walking their dogs, and the random noises that erupt without warning. I’m confident that they will stop at the curb when we approach a street, an alley, or even a driveway. They keep an eye on me. And they will come to me if I need them to be at my side. I’m confident that they will cause no one any harm.

Even though I have received many negative comments from people when I walk my dogs without a leash, I also receive numerous compliments because my dogs are so well behaved. Many people have come up to me and said, “I wish I could do that with my dog.” And I respond by saying, “So why can’t you?” Their answer is always something to the effect, “Well, I can’t because my dog would just run away from me.”

I remember another neighbor once told me, “You put us all to shame because your dogs are so well behaved.” I think that is the biggest compliment a dog owner can get when someone tells you that you have a well-behaved dog.

I’m not advocating that people should walk their dogs off leash if their dog isn’t well trained and is out of control. It takes a lot of dedicated work to be able to walk a dog without a leash. In my classes, I do teach my clients how to work with their dog without a leash on city streets, but I always remind them that it is illegal to walk your dogs off leash. And it is a big responsibility.

So why do I do off-leash training? I believe it’s essential to know how to control your dog when they need to be off leash. They are not going to be on a leash when you let them run in a dog park or at a doggie beach. In those environments, you want to have a well-trained dog because if another dog is chasing your dog toward a street or some other danger zone, or if things are getting out of control with a group of dogs, then you need to be able to call your dog back to you. I have seen many owners who can’t control their dogs at a dog park or at a doggie beach because their dogs haven’t been properly trained to be on leash or off leash.

I believe it’s a big responsibility to have your dog off leash. That’s why I don’t recommend that owners should walk their dogs without a leash unless they have gone through proper off-leash training. They must have confidence in their training and their dog’s level of intelligence. If owners cannot control their dogs, then those dogs belong on a leash.

I have nothing against using a leash. In fact, I see the value of a leash particularly if an owner has a very aggressive dog. But on the other hand, I do have issues with owners who can’t control their dogs even when they are on a leash. I have seen more out-of-control dogs on a leash than dogs walking without a leash. Too many times, I have see dogs lunging at the end of the leash when a person or another dog walks by, and despite the leash, the owner has a hard time controlling their dog. I have received numerous calls over the years from owners who say their dog acts terribly on a leash. They will complain that their dog is too aggressive as it lunges toward another dog or tries to jump at people. Here’s the fallacy about using a leash — it doesn’t mean you have more control of your dog. So when people tell me to put my dogs on leash, I find it ironic because my dogs are more well behaved walking the streets without a leash compared to the many other dogs who are leashed to their owner.

I have found from my experience, that owners, who have their dogs trained off leash, can breathe a little easier, if for example, their dog runs out their door and onto the street. They will feel confident of being able to call their dog back to the house. They will also feel more confident that their dog isn’t going to run blindly across the street and get hit by a car. Their dog will instead stop at the curb.

I believe off-leash training instills more confidence in a dog. They have more awareness of their environment. It teaches a dog to respect boundaries – she won’t jump on people, run after another dog, or chase a squirrel or rabbit into the street. She will cope more effectively with distractions instead of chasing anything that moves.

Off-leash training also gives owners the confidence to let their dogs run free in the park. There’s nothing more beautiful than watching dogs run and have fun in the park. When they have the opportunity to run, it lifts their spirit — you can see in their movement and in their eyes how much they enjoy this freedom.

When I see dogs run, I can see their happiness and exuberance. It brings out their playfulness, their inner puppy. Spiritually speaking, I believe dogs are meant to run. Dogs aren’t meant to be always tethered to a leash. Who wants to be confined all the time?

I also believe training your dog off leash gives you more freedom. You can take your dog anywhere with you. If you go on vacation, you can feel confident when walking your dog through a hotel lobby or taking her on a hiking trip.

Yes, I know there’s a leash law. And yes, I know it’s illegal to walk your dog off leash. So if you are going to walk your dog without a leash, I strongly encourage owners to be responsible by making sure their dogs receive off-leash training. I believe off-leash training creates mutual respect — you will have more respect for your dog for being an intelligent animal and your dog will also have more respect for you for being an intelligent owner. That mutual respect creates a deeper trust which always leads to a deeper bond between you and your dog.

Email me your story. I’d love to hear from you!

by Cis Frankel

When people are thinking about becoming dog owners, sometimes they wonder if they should adopt a rescue dog from a shelter or get a purebred puppy from a responsible breeder.

Prospective owners often ask my advice as to what kind of dog they should get because they don’t know what’s the best dog for them. My response is, “What are the things you want from a dog? Do you have a special look you like? Or do you have a special memory of a dog that you had as a child?” And if they tell me how they always like a particular breed, such as a Golden Retriever, then I tell them to get a Golden Retriever. It’s that simple. Get the dog you want. I never steer people toward a particular breed or tell them to adopt a rescue dog. I believe getting a dog is a very personal choice.

I don’t think people should feel guilty about getting a purebred even though there are so many dogs waiting to be adopted in shelters. And, I have no problem with people wanting to adopt a rescue dog. But my feeling is if you are going to rescue a dog, then really rescue it. People who want to adopt a shelter dog need to keep in mind that there are usually more issues that need to be addressed. You will have to be very dedicated in teaching a shelter dog social skills because, in most cases, the breeder or the previous owner wasn’t giving the dog enough social interaction with people. There is also the unknown history of a rescue dog. Was it abused by a previous owner? Was the dog nurtured by the mother? What was the environment of the past owner?

Many people are motivated to adopt a dog from a shelter because they want to save a dog. I think that’s a wonderful reason, but having an altruistic motive isn’t enough. It doesn’t get you through the hard times. Sometimes people who adopt shelter dogs fail to understand the challenges. There are a number of cases where they become quickly frustrated with the dog’s behavior and return the dog to the shelter.

Adopting a dog from a shelter takes a lot of work. You will need to spend the time and the money to really train this dog. You will need to make the effort to have the dog socialized. And you will need to make the extra effort to expose this dog to various environments so that it will become a confident dog. All dogs – purebred or sheltered dogs require work and dedication. Some may be more challenging than others.

Keep in mind that the social and intellectual growth of all dogs – rescue or purebred — takes shape by the fourth month. Because you won’t have the history as to how a rescue dog’s personality was shaped during that fourth month, you are going to have to go that extra mile in putting the time into training and have plenty of patience as well.

On the other hand, buying a purebred isn’t a guarantee that you are getting the perfect dog either. When people tell me that they are planning to buy a purebred puppy, I always advise them not to get over-eager with the thought of buying it right away when they visit the breeder. In fact, I advise them that when they first visit the breeder, they should see the mother of the litter before looking at the puppies. They should make it a point to interact with the mother and if they don’t like the mother, then they shouldn’t waste their time looking at the puppies. The reason is that the mother controls 70% of her puppies’ environment in the whelping box. The mother also controls the environment by putting her puppies on a schedule as to when they are allowed to eat. She is the one who sets the housebreaking schedule. If she is anxious or nervous, that is often passed on to the puppies because she is living in a small area with them. The other 30% is controlled by the outside environment — how the puppies were raised by the breeder. It is the responsibility of the breeder to make sure the puppies are interacting with other people, including children. Also a good breeder takes care of the mother’s well being by making sure she is receiving the proper nutrients, making sure her milk doesn’t dry up, and that the environment is conducive for her. Unfortunately for most puppies in a shelter, they don’t have a good start in life — they could have been whelped behind a garbage can or raised in a puppy mill. Their environment shapes their personalities. That is one of the advantages of getting a purebred puppy from a good breeder.

On a personal note, I’m a breeder of Weimaraners, and I always make sure the puppies have social interaction with other people and kids. It is vital that the puppies receive human contact by being petted and stroked. If they don’t receive human interaction at a young age, then they don’t usually handle human interaction very well when they get older.

I’m not saying a rescue puppy can’t be a loving pet. There are many owners who have a great bond with the dog they adopted. But remember that if you become an owner of a rescue dog, you need to meet the challenge of providing that dog a lot of training, social interaction, and also a healthy diet.

Many people adopt a shelter dog because they are being told there are so many dogs that need a home. But I think the real problem is not that there are too many dogs in shelters, but rather, there are too many irresponsible people who are breeding dogs.

I know that there are also a number of purebred breeders who don’t properly breed puppies. They don’t provide a healthy environment, they don’t provide a healthy diet for the mother, and they don’t get the puppies socialized with other people. And just as important, the sire they choose may have a poor medical history. Puppy mills are a good example of this.

Sometimes, people give me a negative attitude when I tell them that I occasionally breed Weimaraners. They are of the opinion that there are so many dogs that need to be adopted, so why am I breeding more puppies? I don’t feel the need to apologize or feel defensive that I’m doing something wrong. I think there is always a need for good puppies on this planet. A good breeder provides a service for people by breeding healthy, socialized puppies. Before I breed my dog, I already have a waiting list of owners for my puppies.

I know the staff at dog shelters work hard in trying to give as much personal attention as they can to the dogs that are up for adoption. I respect their effort. But there is big difference on the care a purebred puppy receives from a good breeder compared to what a rescue dog receives from a shelter. Most dog shelters are understaffed with the number of dogs they receive and they also must depend on a rotating staff of volunteers. Despite their best efforts, they can’t give that same personal attention that a good breeder can give. Please don’t misunderstand me, I applaud their dedication and hard work. It tugs at my heartstrings that these dogs have to be in a shelter with their fate unknown.

So whether you plan on adopting a rescue dog or buying a purebred, be prepared to bring out the best in them. Provide them with spiritual growth by teaching them how to handle stress in any environment. Teach them to respect people and other dogs. Provide them with uplifting moments that will make their confidence soar. Take the time to develop a rich bond with your dog. Hopefully, you will have a lifetime of wonderful memories.

Email me your story. I’d love to hear from you!